SURVEY: 76% of Males in Maine Have Boners for Ricky Craven

By Lewis C. Kenney
Searsport- It has long been suspected that men in Maine were totally queer for NASCAR legend, Ricky Craven. Now it’s confirmed, according to a recent university survey.
The survey of more than 300 Waldo County men ranging from the ages of 18-38 concludes that up to 76% percent are in fact wielding raging boners for him.
"What’s really surprising is the lack of attention that other drivers receive," says Professor of Sociology Dr. Michael A. Grotton. "Only 10% pitch tents for Jeff Gordon and even fewer for such champions as Jimmie Johnson."
The president of the Waldo County Ricky Craven Fan Club, Derek Allard had this to say; "People often underestimate the drawing power of good old number thirty-two."
The university plans on concluding its survey on boners for Moxie in early May.