LYNCHBURG, Va.-Rev. Jerry Falwell was found dead today, hunched over his desk at Liberty College.
Ron Godwin, the university's executive vice president, said Falwell was found unresponsive late Tuesday morning and taken to Lynchburg Whale Hospital, where he was pronounced comically fat and dead about an hour later.
"I had breakfast with him, and he was fat as all fuck at breakfast," Godwin said. "He went to his office, I went to McDonalds because he ate all my fucking food, and they found him dead, bloated, and ready to be craned into heaven."
Jesus was unavailable for comment.
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