Old Man Discovers Joys of Internet Pornography

"Dick" W. Anker

Frankfort--Tired of masturbating to old clippings from his collection of Sears catalogs ancient neophyte Charles W. Anker was pleasantly surprised to find his fourteen year old grandson mastubating to high resolution pornography on his Dell personal computer.

"I just wandered into little Bobby's room to ask him if he'd seen my thyroid medicine when I seen him cranking away to some pretty little thing from China. Bobby has got a good arm lemme tell you," he said taking a long thoughtful drag from his corn-cob pipe.

Charles was born in Frankfort in 1927, long before people could watch streaming and highly graphic adult entertainment on their computers.

"I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks," he said laughing to himself.

He's downloaded over 4500 pictures of Barbara Bush doing ass to mouth with Ronald Reagan since Monday.

Bobby couldn't be reached for comment due to a serious wrist injury.