Prescription Drug Epidemic Makes Health Care Affordable

Waldo County-With more and more prescription drug abuse in Waldo County than ever before, the competition between rival dealers has lowered prices of oxycontin, vicodin, and methadone to record low prices.

"It used to be six bucks a pop for vikes, but now thanks to all these generics flooding the black market prices are down to three! I haven't felt a thing for two months," purports local drug enthusiast Mike Flanery.

But how low can prices go before prescription drug runners have to move on to more lucrative buisness ventures?

"It's killing me," says small time dealer Carson Linkwood, "I was making a good honest wage selling percocet behind the elementary school until all these cheap pills flooded the market."

"Now every fifth grader with a scraped elbow is up his eyes in uppers, downers, and sidewaysers. I'm going to have to get out of the buisness."

But the pain-killer market isn't the only one that's taken a blow. Revenue is down across the board, ADHD medicine hit a record 75 cents per 25mg.

"It's great.. Great. Wow it's hot in here," says ADHD sufferer Jason Frankson, "I barely have to snatch one purse to get relief of my symptoms."

Doctors are taking the brunt of the damage. Psychologist visits by loser druggie teenagers has dropped 32% since April alone, and it's predicted to be down by 50% by June.

"Strung out teenagers were the ideal patient before the bubble broke," Says noted Waldo County Psychologist Keith Hutchinsky, "Now I'll never be able to afford that yacht!"

More on this developing story to come..