Searsport--School board officials resolutely pushed forward a new 'higher-standard' set of requirements for graduation. High School Seniors will now be required to navigate their way through an enormous fantasy maze before receiving their diploma.
"In order to better prepare students for life in this century, we have come to the unanimous decision that they should be forced to reach the end of a giant and seemingly pointless maze," said Brian Peterman Lead Chairman of the Searsport School Board.
Among the new requirements, students will be asked to apply real world skills such as solving puzzles given to them by a small dwarf-like creature known as Hoggle, or 'Mr. H' as students have taken to calling him.
Shelly Dirkwood, a senior at SDHS had this to say, "I like it. The whole labyrinth thing really fits in with the rest of the cheesy 80s fantasy movie theme our school policy makers are doing. Plus, it turns out Mr. H has a heart of gold!"
Other students aren't as emphatic about the changes, "Personally I'd have gone for a 'Lord of the Rings' graduation requirement system. It’s just hard to take a muppet seriously."
Any way you slice it David Bowie looks gay as a goblin.
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